The traditional daytime serials filled with deceit, romance, family curses, evil twins, implausible medical conditions, including multiple incidents of returning from the dead, are disappearing faster than…well, disappearing faster than guest characterson a soap opera.

I believe I know the impetus behind the lost interest in daytime drama. Americans have so much drama in their daily lives that they no longer need writers to create wild plots on their behalf.

Have you been on Facebook lately? Sometimes I can’t believe what I read on there. The overwhelming majority of material posted is completely harmless but the small number of juicy postings keep us coming back for more.

I can spout off a list of my five most dramatic Facebook friends whose everyday lives are intense enough on which to base a soap opera. As much as they complain about it, I think they wouldn’t have it any other way.

For those whose own lives aren’t a daily experiment in human psychology, there are reality shows.

This genre has all but decimated the viewing numbers of soap operas. The average soap opera fan would probably much rather see how far a bunch of clownish no-names are willing to go in order to achieve notoriety versus a scripted cast with impossibly perfect hair and backlighting.

Personally, I fall into the group that has moved on from the traditional soap format into the primetime drama series, such as Friday Night Lights, which shares the dramatic elements of daytime but pairs them with a more palatable and familiar backdrop, such as a small town in Texas, and thus, makes them more realistic to me.

Finally, there are the talk shows that are deliciously voyeuristic but wrapped in self-help. That would include the spectrum ranging from the outrageous Maury Povich and Tyra Banks to the more refined Dr. Phil and Oprah Winfrey.

Let’s face it, there’s always a hot mess on one of these shows that makes us feel just a little bit more normal.

With the loss of “As the World Turns” this September and the loss of “Guiding Light” last year, the total number of daytime dramas will be down to six by the end of 2010, just half of the number airing in the 90s.

Can they survive? Tune in next time to find out.

TRIVIA NIGHT WINNERS

The third annual First United Methodist Church Trivia Night was an unquestionable success. Seven teams competed for bragging rights this year but no new challengers could topple last year’s champions.

For the second year in a row, the team of Ronnie Lanier, Ken Harris, Donna Angers, Ann Harris, Naomi DeuFriend and Carl Angers took home the blue ribbon.

This year, the organizers worked to make the contest more user-friendly by not only broadcasting the questions aloud but also projecting them onto a big screen for everyone to see. This was a welcome change noted by many participants.

The biggest winner of the night, however, was Middleman Ministries in Matamoros, Mexico, who will benefit from the funds raised. Between team entry fees and proceeds from the silent auction, the event raised about $900.

The money will go toward sending some F.U.M.C. Smithville mission group members to Matamoros in June, where they will work to provide equipment to pump fresh water to the area.

Organizer John Lube wishes to thank everyone who participated.

“We missed those that couldn’t make it this year,” he stated. “We look forward to more people returning next year for another spirited competition.”

FIFTH GRADE ‘AT-TAKS’ TEST QUESTIONS

It appears that I am not smarter than a fifth grader. Neither are Boyd Sherrill nor Judy Bergeron, at least when it comes to information about TAKS prep.

We three adults went head-tohead against our fifth grade challengers in a format similar to the popular game show, and the results, while humiliating for us, were encouraging for our opponents in their next challenge: Whipping the TAKS test. Vice-principal Tammie Hewitt emceed the event last Thursday which pitted our team against fifth graders Tobie Sherrill, Abbey Duncan, John Marc Carrasco, Jerry Powell and Dynadia Stobb in questions such as “What can you do on the morning of the TAKS test to best prepare?” and “What items are not allowed on your desk during the TAKS test?”

While we were competitive with our responses, we were just no match for these kids who know the process inside and out. We adults finally gave up and deflected with humor as in our answer to “What should you do to relax before the test?”

Our answer: “Curl up in a ball on the floor.”

While possibly helpful, it’s inappropriate school behavior so no points for us.

Good luck to all the S.I.S.D. students in their upcoming TAKS tests. May you have better results than we did!

STOP H1N1 IN ITS TRACKS

Don’t forget that Smithville Independent School District will be administering free H1N1 vaccinations for kids ages 6 months and older at the junior high/elementary school nurse’s office next to the cafetorium at 800 Bishop St.

The clinic will be held starting Monday, March 1 through Friday, Mar.5, then again on Monday, March 8 through Friday, March 12.

Clinic hours for each day will be from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.

SISD school nurses participate in the Texas Vaccine for Children program and are health care providers for the Department of State Health Services.

CHAMBER BANQUET THIS WEEKEND

The annual Smithville Area Chamber of Commerce Awards Banquet is this Saturday, Feb. 27 at the Smithville Recreation Center.

Join the chamber as we honor those who do so much to enhance our community, including our Business of the Year, our Organization of the Year and our Citizen of the Year.

It’s always so much fun to see the reaction of the honoree as the Citizen of the Year is revealed.

There are many newcomers to Smithville and the banquet is a great way to familiarize yourself with the folks that labor behind the scenes to bring you events such as Thunder on the Colorado motorcycle rally, Festival of Lights, Smithville Music Festival, Texas Photo Festival, Jamboree, Fly-In, Casino Night and so much more!

Entertainment will be provided by Jeff Brister and Friends from The Lumberyard, and the menu (from Catering by Chabot) consists of bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin and grilled chicken, both served with raspberry chipotle demiglace, roasted vegetables, smashed red potatoes, bread and butter, strawberry shortcake, and choice of iced tea or water.

The guest speaker will be Paul Martz, who has a passion for volunteerism and will inspire you to find the same within yourself.

Pre-sale for tickets has ended but you can still buy tickets for $20 each, only $3 more than the pre-sale rate.

If you would like to attend, call the chamber at 237-2313 and reserve your spot.

HOP OVER TO BUESCHER

Join the folks at Buescher State Park on Friday, Feb. 26 for the “Texas Amphibian Watch Workshop” which will teach participants how to identify local frogs and toads and participate in scientific research.

This course is Texas Master Naturalist approved advanced training with SBEC and TEEAC credit available for educators.

The session will be held in the Recreation Hall from 5 – 10 p.m. and the fee is $10 for materials.

Pre-registration is required by contacting Meredith Longoria by phone at 512-332-7280 or 512-237-2241.

UNTIL NEXT WEEK

Congratulations to the Smithville varsity girls basketball team and their coaches.